Why I'm Concerned About 20 Year Olds Getting Pregnant
A while ago, the group chat had a screenshot of a baby announcement by one of our peers. It was someone from my classes and extracurricular activities.
My initial reaction?
"Wow."
For this article, I'm writing to try explain why I have such a strong reaction when I see my fellow peers announce pregnancy.
I never fully articulated why I'm opposed to it. But, I'll do my best to explain.
What's Wrong With A Baby Announcement?
It's been three years after I graduated. There are more and more peers that I know who are expecting a child.
See, I'm a great supporter of someone adopting the responsibility of parenthood. In fact, I celebrate it to those who are willing to make the necessary sacrifices for their future children.
Yet, I felt disgruntled witnessing people post their baby reveal on social media. And I think it's because of one question,
"Where is the wedding post?"
I can see you holding your belly. Posting the dates of when you expect to give birth. A blue or pink love heart in your bio. Initials or the name of your child.
But, where is the post about getting married? Making a vow to your husband/wife in front of your families?
Go On The Path That Has Been Gone Down Before
As Jordan Peterson said on his podcast with Steve Bartlett,
"Do what has been done before. Unless, you have a good reason not to."
For what is that path? Getting married, then having kids.
You might be saying,
"Marriage is not a prerequisite of childrearing."
To that I say, what chance do you want for your family to be successful? One of the hardest things one can do in life is having children. But, there is great fulfillments and joy of having children.
Perhaps this culture of 'knowing better'. What the hell do you know? And extending that to, what the hell do I know?
By not getting married you are not giving your child the best chance that he will have both of his parents around. A stable environment in which the child can develop and become independent by feeling secure.
So, if you have children without getting married first, are you giving your child the best possibility to thrive?
For what is keeping the relationship together?
"Our love!"
Is it enough, though?
That you're willing to stick it out with each other and for your kids?
You Were Only In High School Three Years Ago
The other scary realisation is knowing that these people were just in high school.
Are these same very people going to have the mental maturity to raise a child up To socialise him and make him a productive member of society?
For what is maturity? The ability to put higher priority above your own needs and wants.
Is someone fresh out of highschool capable of thinking long-term, delaying gratification, and putting the greater good ahead of their own needs?
A child immediately acts on impulse. An adult considers the consequences.
To Answer The Original Question
Why am I concerned about 20 year olds getting pregnant?
- Having a child out of wedlock
- Denigrating the social institution of marriage
- The mental maturity of these young parents
All in all, I might be wrong. These people might be great parents.
My concern is life is inherently difficult and is painful.
For what is more painful?
Having a child ,believing you're ready, even though you were only in high school not so long ago?
Or, developing the mental maturity and understanding for social institutions to give you the best chance at having a family?