Do What You Can, Not What You Want

Begrudgingly I am going down the path of sales. My calling was maybe doing video editing and content creation as a marketer. Yet, my skills say otherwise...

Why was it that I'd want to go into marketing? From a job standpoint, I never really have to interact with the customer. It's about creating something for the customer that they'll consume as content.

Yet, why am I afraid to take the sales jobs? When it is in fact that I outperform my budgets at my retail electronics job.

With anything that is performance based, I'm afraid of failing at my job. A job such as manual labour or service is much easier in measuring success: did you do the job or not?

Then in sales, you have the aspect of skill influencing the outcomes of your performance. Especially in sales, it has to do with asking the right questions, framing situations and pushing through rejection.

I keep saying to myself that me not getting as many job offers for marketing as I'd like is saying,

"You're good at sales. Go do that."

It's like in Exodus when God manifests himself as the burning bush to Moses. He tells him to tell the Israelites that he was a prophet that saw the lord himself to bring the news that they shall be free from the Egyptians.

Moses objects, saying he was "slow of tongue".God (in essence) tells Moses to 'deal with it'.

I sort of draw parallel to Moses that I have this skill that I am reluctant in using. It's almost in any endeavour we undertake, we will fall short in some way. In Moses case, it didn't stop him from becoming a great leader for the Israelites.

Then, is the problem that I have yet to learn to love interacting with people?

Because I keep reflecting as to why I have achieved such success in retail sales. Of course, I pay tribute to God. In fact, if there was a good sales day, I would always thank God for it.

I'm strange in the fact that I'm perhaps ambivert but leaning more towards introversion. If I have had the pleasure of serving you, you would know that my voice's intonation is high, I'm always smiling, patient, caring, helpful.

I do this with all my customers. Yet, I keep a bit of distance from them. I try not to intrude into their personal life. Or maybe I do out of courtesy? Because I will remember at times if there was something fascinating about a person, I try to ask about it.

Whether it was their job, a hobby of theirs, the kind of music they listened to...

Maybe I don't realise it, but I care about people more than I think I do. Perhaps in the same way that a psychologist cares for his patient.

Without the job, would I still care? Of course, even in my everyday outings, I will still maintain the same demeanour that I have when working in retail.

Perhaps this fear of interacting with customers will never truly go away. That I have to continually lean into it.

Like the mathematical function y= 1/x.